so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize