I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
