I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just sent this text using only my big toe
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Randomize
