i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
