Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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