Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
