Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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