what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
