Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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