Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
