I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
