No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
