I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
