doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just invented taco cereal.
I think a kid would responsible me up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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