If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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