You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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