2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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