No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
