Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
