You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
