you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
