he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
