i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
