The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
