god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
