Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
