i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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