I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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