I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
