Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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