I can't breathe out the right side of my face
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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