I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Randomize
