Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize