i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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