so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
