It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
