Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
