He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
