yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize