For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
