"it" just moved
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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