I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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