I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
