Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize