forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
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A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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