I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
