You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
