cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
barbara walters just said penis...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
