yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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