I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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