he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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