can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
