Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
