I wish I could punch you in the face.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
