I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
