So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
be right there i have to get my cape
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
