Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
