My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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