If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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