Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
