Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize