if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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