I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
