This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
