I should be sponsored by Trojan
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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