sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
