i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Randomize
