i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
