singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
