Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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